- Don’t just sniff and worry.
- Don’t sweat.
- Don’t worry about Death by Flu.
Instead, worry about:
“Death by Powerpoint”!
(see http://www.londoncouncils.gov.uk/London%20Councils/090127sellwooddraft.ppt)
Or try Death by Portable Document Format!
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Resource/Doc/924/0054555.pdf (written in 2007)
Author’s note:
Some bits are okay actually, especially the picture of Maiden Castle. But if you do get the flu, stay in, don’t pass it on. That’s the fastest way to stop an epidemic.
If, on the other hand, you wish to be like Typhoid Mary, go to work, sneeze on everyone, don’t wash your hands and face, leave snot and shit on the toilet door handles. That’ll work.
For further information, ask these people:
Pandemic Influenza Preparedness
Health Improvement and Protection
Department of Health
Skipton House,
80 London Road
London
SE1 6LH
Direct line: 020 7972 5068
Apparently it’s in Torquay now – woohoo! In the spirit of re-naming the flu conventions, I’m now going to call it, ‘Oiks on a drunken weekend Flu’. When it reaches Eastbourne, I’ll call it ‘Honda-driving Pensioner Flu’.
Related posts:
- Is Knife Crime London-o-centric, or the reporting of it?
- Last week I arrived in Croydon to a week’s worth of knife deaths, convictions and escapes. It seemed that the...
- Don’t Shake Hands with the Office Boss if you Live in Newcastle
- Don’t Shake Hands with the Office Boss if you Live in Newcastle, (But You Can Shake Hands with the Window...
