Northumberland

Northumberland is a lovely place – cold, sunny, windy, dry, overcast, damp, clear, clean and historic.  But mainly brrr  and wow!  Especially on the coast.

It’s quite popular with tourists.  Here’s why I go there…

…why do the fuckwits?

The historic island of Lindisfarne (Holy Island) is connected to the mainland via a tarmac causeway, which is passable for about 2/3 of the time.  The rest of the time, the twice daily tides whoosh in at varying speeds and depths, cover the causeway, and it’s a proper island!

Fuckwits

Now, in the continuing quest to be top in the Darwin awards, it’s become a mecca for fuckwits of all ages, sexes and nationalities. 

True equality.

The most recent were this pair of Glasgow fuckwits (see Couple rescued from rising tide), whose excuse for getting stuck was that “they didn’t see the signs”….  These signs are the only non-natural colours for miles! There are several, and they are big.  (also see the Seahouses Lifeboat call-out record, #018 on this page and Tidal tourists mystify islanders)

The man was supposed to have a medical condition -  was it eyesight related? What if they can’t see children playing in the road – or red lights!  Jeesh.  Get off the road mate and get a taxi in future if you can’t see to drive.

Terry Fuckwit History

Terry Fuckwit is a Viz character (see here).  A fictional dolt.  But it’s not all fiction.  This is a list of recent rescues from the website of the Northumberland Gazette, the local paper.

• Think before you risk causeway: Published Date: 11 June 2009
• Causeway rescue: Published Date: 01 August 2008
• Fools gallery on causeway: Published Date: 17 June 2008
• Causeway madness caught on camera: Published Date: 01 July 2008
• Family plucked to safety from causeway: Published Date: 17 May 2007
• Causeway warning after more rescues: Published Date: 01 June 2006
• Causeway idiocy: Published Date: 01 June 2006
• Seven rescued from causeway refuge: Published Date: 18 April 2005

Information

This is the Journal Live report on the daft Jocks.  The Journal Newspaper carries tide times and safe crossing times to Lindisfarne – it always has.

Tide Times are on the internet too!  This website is fast – http://www.holy-island.info/lindisfarnecastle/2009/ and should keep even the fuckwitiest nonce right.  You’d think?

But No…

Fuckwit-dom Continues

As if more proof were needed, here are a selection of YouTube videos detailing the fuckwit exploits or else examining the power of the sea as it rushes across the small gap.  Mostly, it appears to be a competition to see who can drive through the deepest water…?  One posted video, from BIRDY1572, displays the thickdom with their comment…

Holy isle causeway in northumberland if you are ever in area visit this unusual phenomenem.(sic)

Er.  Pardon me.  It’s not unusual. The tide comes in and goes out twice a day.  It always has….  QED.

One other thing:  On the way down to Holy island from the A1, the road crosses the East Coast mainline via a level crossing.   QUESTION: Do these gambling fuckwits play the same game on the crossing?

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