These are a few of the odd things that set Australia apart from the mother country (i.e. the UK!) Similar, yet different, eh?
The Spider Mailbox
Most suburban houses follow the USA mailbox style, with some sort of box on the edge of the property. But watch out for spiders when fetching the post!
Yet funnel web spiders, some of which can kill you in hours, aren’t the only strange, odd, things.
Merry Christmas in Rye, Victoria
Because just across the road, Santa awaits… inflated to gigantic proportions in an expensive house, built on sand dunes, made in the style of a 19th century colonial house, filled with all the gadgetry and labour-saving devices of the modern world.
A walk in the country can provide a host of oddities, from the deadly to the silly.
These are a few I came across. Places include Melbourne, Port Douglas in tropical Queensland and various sites across the Mornington Peninsular. I’m fascinated by the signs that are put up for public information. A real clue into everything, I think.
Japanese Bomb Sculpture – note the guy mowing the grass in the background. That was a noisy machine I can tell you!
Japanese Bomb Sign – little girl was the only casualty of WW2 on the East Australian mainland. (This contrasts sharply with the tens of thousands killed NOT on the mainland)
Crocodiles and Stinger Signs Next to Each Other! Just off the Captain Cook Highway.
Lotus Blossom in McClelland Art Gallery – contrasts to the large sculptures…
Tourism is Big – this is the Puffing Billy train in the Dandenongs
Big, forward control lorries are common in Australia even in urban areas. They hammer along everywhere, apparently in all lanes.
Graffiti All Over Melbourne – despite the sun and wealth, many of man’s creations are amended with random ink. Cops go on trains in fives.
Even Cats Get Banned from a Vineyard
Man-made Floating Island – this is on the edge of the Great Barrier Reef. The breaking surf is The Coral Sea
View from a Yacht – Queensland and it’s hills round Port Douglas. You just point and click, there are views everywhere.
More Views – from near Cpt Cook Hwy. Banana fields just out of sight.
Fascination with Olden Days – signs all over, this is Daintree
Daintree River Crocodile Sign – no paddling and keep your eyes open – they’ve had crocs in excess of 5m long here.
Humourous Daintree Crocodile Signs on the WC Publics
My own image of Four Mile Beach, Port Douglas
Cape Tribulation – here the tropical jungle hits the Great Barrier Reef via the mangrove swamps and beach. It’s where Cook’s ship “Endeavour” was dragged ashore to be fixed after crashing into a coral reef (now named after the ship).
Cassowary v Range Rover; not so fair.
Dangerous Pedestrians! They can injure and kill people when provoked.
Views! Along Captain Cook Highway. Australia is full of views. Loads. All over the place.
Tropical Rain Forest, Hot. This is Mossman Gorge, Queensland.
Garbage Recycling, Queensland Style. In Packers Creek, upstream from Port Douglas, they just dump their boats and leave them to the crocodiles when they’re finished with them.
Sign Overload, some graphically scary – Stingers are not nice
View at Port Douglas, Queensland
Melbourne Memorial to a war on the opposite side of the world – beautiful quotes from Wilfred Own in there.
Random Public Art – McClelland Gallery, Frankston.
Odd Signs with Humour
Serious Melbourne Tram System
Ancient “cold” Tropical Rainforest in the South (Dandenongs)
Odd Signs and characteristic Oz Humour
Blue-ringed octopus in a pool at Cape Schanck – there is no known anti-venom!!! It is there in a crack. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-ringed_octopus
Sudden Waves don’t reach the odd sign.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-bellied_black_snake Red-bellied black snake taken walking down to Cape Schanck
Australia is a strange, deadly place, filled with amazing natural resources.
The quirky humour of the people is to be treasured.
They try to be uppity with their restaurants, vineyards, big boys toys and gadgets, yet underneath, the wild west existence is evident all around.
It’s all in the nature of the place.
We are a mixture of the land we live in and the land we came from.
Many moons ago, before Crawling Chaos first played, I heard a tune on the late night John Peel Show called “Wading Through a Ventilator” by “The Soft Boys“. You can get it on the compilation at left.
At only 3:20 it has the unique quality of extending time so it feels like about half an hour has passed when it’s impossible to speak, think or dance. Just listen.
Later I found out that, independently, first one, then a later member of the band, had all gone out and bought the (very coral coloured) single. They made a fair bit from us!
Someone’s now plonked it on YouTube so, instant start and instant stop; pin back your lugholes… (Don’t forget to listen to the live version at the end as well…)
“Wading Through a Ventilator” Lyrics:
I fix my fish
I fool my frog
I fray my feet
I drag my dog
I drag my dirt
Across the wall
I squash my ___ just like my grub
I bang ____ in a pub
My girl is right
In greasy silk
A split tomato in her mind
A crumpled heart
Sagged to the sea
I think my girl has rubber skin
Of all the people that I know
The ones I like I love the best
The fishes in the sewer pipes
The highway man in yellow stripes
It might not now but it will be later
Wading through your ventilator
I tang my fag
You taint your cyst
The pretty Bob he
Licks my stamp
And twists her fang
She tugs his foot
We think of better things and laugh
Her hair’s on my marshmallow pout
My head is rich
Enough to burst
Without me struggling in my car
Fresh ale and flies
On melon halves
You wind up living somewhere cheap
And die upon a compost heap
Of all the people I don’t know
The ones I do I hate the most
The twisted father of mankind
‘S enough to drive a poor boy blind
It might not now but it could be later
Wading through your ventilator
I wading in and that’s a fact
The meat was cut the meat was packed
You shredded me with icy strings
As coiled salami I was led
Into a holy stocking shed
My life like antiseptic stings
A tounge of stalk
And tender leaves
And then she’ll eat
Her skull it _____ and splits
And like an egg
It dribbles down your inside leg
Don’t get me wrong I’m quite okay
I drank a cat
I sun a cake
She throws transistors in my lake
I threw her head
Far through the door
You wonder what I do that for
They wonder what she think I gots
There ain’t nothing in here but my own sweet mind
If it bothers you we can turn it off
With my antelope cheek and my raven’s eye
And my buffalo heart and a crocodiles hide
And my salmon head wait on a moose’s neck
A breathing fungus on a hemoraged lawn
Invented me one summers morn
I lost you now but I’ll catch you later
Wading through your ventilator
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