Tag Archive: FAQ

From Google Treasure Chest to Sun Tan Scam in Nevis on the BBC?

From Google Treasure Chest to Ubertan Sun Tan Scam in Nevis on the BBC?

A.  yes it’s true!

Ubertan On BBC

Ubertan On BBC

An article on the BBC website today highlighted the dangers of a tanning products called Ubertan.  On reading it, and following up with a simple Google search, the way it is portrayed in forums immediately set off warning bells because of its similarity to other scams I’ve seen.

Ubertan

Ubertan Search

Ubertan Search

A simple Google search showed that warnings about Ubertan have been going on for some time.  This website warned way back in April 2011 and here we have a Mens’s Health forum being shilled by Ubertanners with a post starting in Jan 2011…  The first even shows that the Ubertan website changed it’s copy when folks started complaining.

The Ubertan website is currently ‘live’ however, it is showing no content!  At all!  The Google cache is interesting though (more on that later)…

WHOIS Ubertan

Ubertan WHOIS

Ubertan WHOIS

Who is Ubertan indeed?  !!

WarningBell

Warning Bell

What we see is that “Manufacturers Direct” owns several domains and one Vernon Veira is the contact on the dual island nation of Kitts-Nevis.

10 Solomons Arcade
Charlestown,  00000
KN
+1.3057484919

This is when the warning bells started ringing….

Doing The Charlestown in Nevis

It’s two years ago that I started looking at the now seriously-discredited Google Treasure Chest scam (see http://strangelyperfect.tv/3099/google-treasure-chest-its-a-scam-and-a-half/).  the amount of information I had, meant I had to post over several different postings, and it was during these later investigations that a Post Office address (P.O. Box) came up on Nevis.  In Charlestown.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember exactly what address it was.  But it’s easily found here a comment from @NotKevin.  I think it’s the first time we saw the address, although it has since popped up many times when checking out folks that would be preferred to be known as “online marketeers” but we like to call scammers.  This is on the posting,

This is the address.

New Online Systems Ltd.
P.O. Box 642, Main Street
Charlestown, Nevis, West Indies

Google Cache

Ubertan Google Cache

Ubertan Google Cache

Ubertan may be silent, but the Google Cache is active and shows this address down at the bottom of the first cached page:

Ubertan.com +44 161 408 5816
Subertan Ltd 642 Main Street, Charlestown, Nevis

 

Uber morphs into Suber, and because the Post Office on Charlestown is one of the few buildings on Main  Street, Charlestown; a whole host of P.O. Boxes exist inside.

P.O. Box 642 means 642 Main Street!

Who are these people using 642?  I don’t know.

What I do know is that the domains listed by @NotKevin, although not exactly the same,  bear a shocking similarity to those domains used by people like Jesse Willms (say) before he decided to turn into a saint-like activist and Pacific WebWorks (say) before they got their pants sued off them.  This is what @NotKevin said:

That West Indies address is also linked with porn:
http://www.highdefriches.com/contact.php
http://www.eshspt.com/
(another Co Durham address on that one too!)
“health products”:
http://hiltonhg.com/
Colon cleansing:
http://www.colocleansemax.com/contact-us.php
Acai:
http://acaidetoxmaxx.com/
and Govt Grants:
http://www.complaintsboard.com/complaints/government-grants-avaliable-cd-c116063.html

Now compare and contrast those domains and businesses with the very large list to be found here on WebCops – the plethora of time-limited similarly-named domains means tracking them is an onerous task, well beyond my spare time.

However, yet again, we have seen the same address appear when dealing with dodgy ego-massaging products.

Phoenix-Like TryUbertan

Ubertan may be dead, but it doesn’t take long to find son-of-Ubertan when looking at the decidedly un-Caribbean telephone number for Ubertan.

+44 161 408 5816 is actually a Manchester, UK number!!

TryUbertan Contact Page

TryUbertan Contact Page

A quick search pulls out…..

Beginnings

Now I know they’re trying to hide!!!

TryUbertan.net on the T&C page now shows the address of Ubertan to be:

Ubertan Sunless Tanning System
c/o Toocoo Media Inc.
39555 Orchard Hill Place
Suite 600
Novi, Michigan
48375

Although it’s supposed to be available from ” high end salons in the U.K, France, Germany, Spain and North America” from their FAQ page, these stores will be doing so ILLEGALLY!  The UK government has officially banned it (as per the UK news item) and is EXPLICITLY ISSUING DANGER WARNINGS about its usage!

Still, TryUbertan (WHOIS is Pennsylvania USA) don’t care.  They’ll just grab the cash and morph into something else.

TooCoo Media CEO

TooCoo Media CEO

The decidedly minimalist website of Toocoo Media Inc, http://www.toocoomedia.com, throws up some interesting conundrums, if that really is their mailing address.  There are two LinkedIn links:

  • http://www.linkedin.com/company/toocoo-media-inc.
  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/jumanok

The latter is for the CEO, a Peter B. Lee whose 3 website links at the bottom of his profile point to the totally and bizarrely un-related websites of:

  • http://www.viafoura.com/
  • https://www.netiq.com/products/migrate/ which then redirects to novell.com as Novell has bought them out
  • http://www.oracle.com/index.html

Mr Lee, who claims to be Canadian from the LinkedIn profile, also has a poetry blog on blogger assuming the same quite distinct user name is being re-used, which is for invited guests only!!!  See The Poetry of Peter B. Lee with the url of http://jumanok.blogspot.com/  I’ve highlighted his key username as it matches the LinkedIn profile.  I don’t think that this Peter Lee (interestingly, a place name in County Durham of all places!) is the same who’s name is used in some recent versions of the classic 419 scam.  Try these examples for a start:

To add to the surreal mix that I’m uncovering, there are also two videos on YouTube uploaded by a “jumanok”!!  One of half a minute looks very much like Mr Lee, doing  some testing thing in Nov 2008 here:

This is a screenshot in case it’s pulled:

Jumanok YouTube

Jumanok YouTube

This is Jumanok from LinkedIn:

Jumanok LinkedIn LargePic

Jumanok LinkedIn LargePic

And here is “Crystal” telling us how her life state has improved after seeing something on OPRAH (down below she says) – except there’s nothing below!!  It appears to be a video plug for something intended to include Oprah in the spiel, except it never happened as there’s nowt to see.  This was uploaded in May, 2009.  The termination of Oprah-related plans may or may not have had something to do with the legal action, taken in May 2009, by Oprah, and reported here on her website;

http://www.oprah.com/health/The-Truth-About-Oprah-Dr-Oz-Acai-Resveratrol-and-Colon-Cleanse

Of course, Oprah sued and won damages against a host of scammers, one of which was Jesse Willms.

Conclusion

  • Time and again we come across scams that are based on a business with a very flakey base (here it’s a banned tanning product with government issued health warnings).  Usually, they are about improving one’s body or finances via unproven “new” medicines or foodstuffs, or get-rich-quick schemes.
  • Time and again we find a myriad of international contact phone numbers & addresses, for businesses that are very minor and specialist yet feel the need to spread themselves to the far corners of the globe.  Q. Why?  A.  Avoidance of easy scrutiny.
  • Time and again, we trace these businesses via LinkedIn (a bit like Jonathon Eborn, say) and other social networks high and wide.  They all start off appearing very legitimate.   As an aside, the Eborn results show a consulting website of http://www.jonathanebornconsulting.com/ and another of http://www.jonathandeborn.com/ which have both been hacked and defaced!  Made my day that!
  • Many businesses have a very public website, of minimalist design and content.  It’s very hard to discern exactly what they’re doing.  Compare these “online marketeers” to the website of Ford or Esso, say?  Now can you tell the difference?

Finally, (and very importantly for your health).  Don’t shove dodgy untested stuff of unknown provender up your nose.  Simple eh?

Related Posts:

Dangerous EffectiveCleanse – and Scams Too!

PreScript Advice

If you think you’ve had your bank ‘cleaned out’ by any of a multitude of ‘life cleanse’ or ‘colon cleanse’ type internet scams, there is only one real remedy
Ask for a charge-back against the company through you credit card company. Your reason, when asked, is that the company has either:

  1. Not adhered to their own claimed ‘Terms and Conditions’ or
  2. The company cannot be contacted through their advertised channels

If the company fails on any of these two key points they have no excuse not to refund you. In fact, if they deliberately make contact difficult, it’s criminal.

Introduction

Dangerous Scammer Investigation

danger-sign-crossIt all started with a ping to my website from the Drupal Forums (see http://drupal.org/node/608514).

It turns out that the webmaster was using a piss-poor Californian host called byet.org.  This host detected when an Amazon advert was going through and redirected it to the viper’s den called MyBookFace.net, taking a nice skim on the profits in the process (see my articles on the crippling con website here http://strangelyperfect.tv/5552/mybookface-crap/ and here http://strangelyperfect.tv/5612/mybookface-google-utah-and-nevis-scamboys-united/)

MyBookFace.Net Again

The redirect was still working on the user’s website (devoted to head and neck cancer, http://www.squamoussupport.info/).  The key bit is to click on the head and then the Amazon Store link in the bottom right.  Sure enough (today), you get taken to MyBookFace.net!!!

It’s like the return of a boil on the bum for me. Now, depending on how you access this shit-hole, you’ll see various things.

The first page is sometimes loaded with “White Teeth” ads, from you know who(see here and here for instance), which are accessed via a false newspaper ad containing the key(yukky)word “mom”.  Sometimes it’s Mary Steadman — again!

I’ve had two popups, several hours apart during my checks, that both claimed I was the lucky 1,000,00th visitor to the site and thus deserved a prize!  This popup by-passes the pop-up blocker in IE8.  Give it a go – you too can be the 1,000,000th visitor!!!

If you allow further pop-ups, the fun really starts!

More Fun With MyBookFace.Net Popups!

Danger GeneralDuring one session, using the ‘Private Browsing’ feature in Firefox, I got the Mary Steadman fake newspaper ad again – wahay!.  In this were two adverts; for Acai and Colon Cleansing.

They both originated from the same place and had similar designs.  The Acai one (at acaiberryexclusive.com) I left, because the Colon one has some VERY, VERY DANGEROUS CLAIMS in it.  (The Acai ones were very similar, actually, but I’m trying to keep this post short-ish)

EffectiveCleanse.com

EffectiveCleanse.com loads with the strap line “Life Cleanse”.  It’s contact address is in County Durham in the UK again! (just like all the UTAH scams).  This time the address is:

LB LFP Internet Ltd.,

101 Deneside,

Lanchester,

Co Durham,

DH7 0LZ,

UK

A small hunt for this address produced several companies, all apparently squashed into someone’s living room only a mile or so from the UTAH scammers elsewhere in Co Durham!  There are many unhappy folk about who’ve had dealings with companies at that address.  Similarly for the company name itself...

EffectiveCleanse Claims

Effective Cleanse Antioxidant. Get Your Risk-Free Order Trial Now

Effective Cleanse Antioxidant. Get Your Risk-Free Order Trial Now

Everything is visible on the full-screen dump in the image here by clicking on it.  Their claims would be laughable if they weren’t so dangerous. (In many respects, the claims are very similar to those of Monavie, currently being investigated by Vogel, Cyberxion, Food Tech of California and others on this entertaining post by LazyMan about the scurrilous Monavie here: http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/monavie-scam-was-my-wife-recruited-sell-snake-oil/#comments)

  • Possible the most dangerous claim that this company makes is that it will “Repair Digestive Tract”!!!    This is seriously bad stuff.  There are only two ways to repair your gut and that’s either surgery or a massive dietary change, usually by stopping all alcohol intake, reducing fat consumption etc.  Some of the ingredients can relieve IBS and constipation by their topical application and ingestion from their fungicidal, antiseptic or mucilaginous  properties .  But this is not the same as “repairing the digestive tract” by any judgement.  Indeed some ingredients will make intestinal damage worse!
  • It also claims to break down DEADLY TOXINS!! Again this is a wholly unsubstantiated and untrue claim worthy of a prison sentence.  Let’s consider a few deadly toxins – cyanide & botulism, say.  Do you really think these few internet pills will stop death from cyanide?  Do you think that taking these pills would have saved the Jews in the cyanide gas chambers?  Of course not.  If they’d said “slightly bad toxins” that would have been more accurate.  But deadly?  That’s something else.
  • Helps prevent intestinal pathologies….  WTF! This one is good….  Pathology is the study and diagnosis of disease!  So they are claiming that this product will stop you from studying …er…various intestinal problems?  I repeat – WTF? !!!
  • The word “FLUSH” appears a lot – “flush out excess weight”, ” flush harmful toxins”.  Should it read “make you go to the bog a lot”, because it will.  Some of it’s ingredients also induce abortion and breast milk-flow but no warnings are given about this (shades of Thalidomide here).  Some have been found to cause cancer.  Some either bung you up or give you the trots dependant on the quantity taken!  It’s a bit of a fine balance between flush and bung.  I don’t think I’ll be using my guts as a testing ground!

Perhaps the funniest claim is that it will “Increase Focus and Energy”….   It’s a pity the author didn’t try and focus a bit harder.  Because further down the page is the mind-numbing misspelt paragraph which reads (I kid ye not):

According to National Geographic – “Human waste is a sinisteer(sic) world of monstrous creatures that feed on living flesh- Parasites” (sic) Parasites feed on Humans ams(sic) your body may house more than you know. The US alone contains widespread parasites accross(sic) the nation.

My spell-checker has gone berserk on that.  I can’t believe that National Geographic actually printed that!

And anyway, human waste in a healthy person is certainly not pathogenic.  The bacteria in one’s gut DO NOT “feed on living flesh” as they claim.  They are an essential part of living and without them, we’d all die.  If they mean worms etc, then again, they do not feed on your flesh – they feed on your gut contents!  They live on shit!

Terms Disagree with Claims

Effective Cleanse Antioxidant. Terms & Conditions

Effective Cleanse Antioxidant. Terms & Conditions

Well it had to be somewhere, didn’t it?  Despite all the criminally outrageous claims on their front page, their T&C actually states:

Our Products have not been evaluated by the FDA or EU Health Authorities, and Our Products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

Fortunately, they have a UK contact number of  0044 20305 10825, which makes it a London number.  Why not give them a call and see which bit is correct – does it cure, or doesn’t it?

You’ll also see here, in small print, only once, that you’ll be charged £69 per month for 30 days supply.  Except it’s written thus:  “At the end of your 15 day trial period you will be charged GBP 69.”

Of course, upon reading the consumer complaints listed at the bottom here, you’ll find that many people can’t get through on the phone.  In that case, the information on their FAQ page to the question:

I did not place this order and do not recognize the charge on the credit card statement. I think it is fraud.

…should be taken with a large grain of salt.  The answer they give is that making a false claim of fraud is a criminal offence.  Er..no.  It isn’t.  All you are doing is to resolve a dispute over charges to your credit card that you consider erroneous.  It’s not a criminal offence to dispute the bill!!!! This is what they say to frighten you, and it’s only to frighten you:

We take Credit Card fraud very seriously and considerate it a crime. Our Risk/Fraud Department will verify that the transaction is indeed fraud and was not ordered by you. In such case we kindly ask you to contact us and our Customer Service Team will be happy to assist you. Please prepare the following information before calling or writing to us: name on your credit card, descriptor(s) on the charges, amounts, and date(s) of the charges, your billing and shipping address.

We would like to inform you that making a false claim is a criminal offense and you will be prosecuted if such claim is made. All information that you provide us, along with all related log files and IP addresses will be forwarded to the local police department and district attorney. In addition the governmental cybercrime agency will use this data to investigate and establish the physical location and computer from which the account was created.

If you can’t contact them through the phone, as many have found to their cost, the above information is doubly bogus.

On the other hand, the claims they make for the product on their main landing page, really are criminal.  There is no way in hell that GSK et al would dare say anything like this.

Conclusion

Anyone who has read mine and other’s Google Treasure Chest, Acai, Government Grant and  Teeth-Whitening investigations will suspect that there’s more to this business than County Durham alone.  They hide their domain WHOIS for a start.

Because of their secretive nature, their misleading and dangerous claims which are in plain contradiction of their T&Cs, and the ‘unreliability’ (and that’s being generous) of their customer service as evidenced by the many complaints, this bunch of clowns are much worse than a comedy act.  Scammer or crook?  I couldn’t possibly say, but fetch me a bargepole to poke them away.  Tommy Cooper would say “Scam-Crook; Crook-Scam.  Scam-Crook; Crook-Scam.  Scam-Crook; Crook-Scam.”

I’ll finish now, using words taken directly from their webpage by saying :

The US alone contains widespread parasites accross(sic) the nation.

(Mostly in Utah, from my experience, but not exclusively in the US.)

Extra Links(Just a few of the many complaints about this lot):

Imprint of www.acaiberryexclusive.com
LB Cassiopeia Media Limited LB Cassiopeia Media Limited
118 Fines Park
Annfield Plain
Stanley
Co Durham
DH9 8QZ
Tel: United Kingdom +38 616 004 917
Imprint of www.effectivecleanse.com
LB Eridanus Entertainment Limited
57 Langden Close
Templetown
Consett
Co Durham DH8 7NG
Tel: United Kingdom +39 064 523 0442

Postscript (30/10/2009)

As with the Google Treasure Chest/Money Tree (Kit) bollox, because I’ve posted about the colon parasite scammers, this website is now attracting Google adverts from those very scammers.  I use advertising to help fund the costs, my payments in a round-a-bout way coming from the scammers!  I couldn’t possibly comment any further except  to point you to my privacy policy page.

Related Posts:

What is the Creative Conciousness? Answer – Courage.

Art and creativity come in many forms but since the internet arrived with the huge explosion in community sites and the easy interchange of prior art, maybe the concept of creativity needs re-defining.

Prior art like:

  • a 20 foot oil canvas viewed in a museum
  • a paper book like Harry Potter, read in bed,
  • a film made for viewing on a huge screen in a darkened cinema,
  • a tv episode made to be seen on a standard monitor,
  • a band of musicians playing live in the flesh,
  • a recording of musicians played through a decent system

– all look and sounds different when seen or heard through on a tiny screen or through the tinny speakers of your average PC, laptop or phone.

The relative merits are debatable, of course, considering increased publicity, but the fact is that someone created the original art. Now however, most of the world’s creativity seems to exist solely in the realm of comment and chat using the art as a throwaway metaphore for the “higher purpose” of chattering. :-?

This point was brought home to me by a recent “conversation” on a community media site where the works of Crawling Chaos were dumped and yabbered over. How do I know? Dah! Google and IP logs…

A journo, called Jason Heller, made a piece extolling the remarkable virtues of the first Crawling Chaos vinyl issue and the band’s unquenchable appetite to go against the flow. Quoting liberally from the Crawling Chaos site Jason made some very positive and agreeable comments with a good tenor to the article. Despite a bit of cut & paste, he included a link to his source material – so at least he wasn’t page stealing. He managed to be creative with his prose, and a bit wobbly on influences and truth. Whatever. What he’s doing is nothing special – millions do it, it’s what community sites do! – apart from hoping someone will click on a few ads…

Now, a quick check reveals that the piece and the site are covered in copyright statements for Onion Inc and Omniture. However, not a trace or whisper exists that Crawling Chaos still actually own their music! It seems that people think that art, records and music just appears magically for people’s titillation – a kind of “Creative Commons“. Except it’s not.

Basically, Jason’s “piece” serves as an area where Crawling Chaos became an adjunct to a bout of mutual masturbation and in the centre sits Jason covered in jism and glorifying in the basal annoyances that Crawling Chaos engendered.

This whole community website thing is like this, so nothing new. I let Jason know in my own way with a comment to the post where subsequently, they removed the “reply” link and also my inserted link to our copyright page.

Then the true nature of creativity was revealed. Courage.

Jason pulled his post from his most recent posts list! 8-O

However, the post still exists with the link above and still (as of 31/5/2008), is on the most recent posts for the blog! The links to the copyrighted Crawling Chaos music still exist, boldly, and in the html code. As I stated previously, Onion Inc seems to be claiming ownership of this. I tell you, they’re all a bunch of cunts. Maybe I should page harvest them and suck a bit of advertising off them… :twisted: See how they like it.

Here’s what should’ve happened….

Jason finds a Crawling Chaos record.
"Wow!"  He says.  "This is good!"
Jason checks the web for info on Crawling Chaos.
Jason uses contact form on Crawling Chaos website
Jason asks to use a piece of CC music on a posting of his.
Crawling Chaos say yes, if copyright acknowledgement is made.
Jason does his post in his own creative way.
People keep on wanking etc etc

Everyone is happy, the world keeps turning .

Instead of that, by his subsequent actions Jason is implying denied responsibility for his previous words and actions. Everything has cause and effect. It’s the Buddhist way.

Courage, like freedom, can be a strange thing.

This is the code for Jason’s Post:

– search for <!– start audio player –> and you’ll find the direct links for copyright Crawling Chaos material, hosted on the avclub server.

<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en">
<head>

<title>Vinyl Retentive: Crawling Chaos | The A.V. Club</title>

<script type="text/javascript">
	afns_url64 = "L2NvbnRlbnQvYmxvZy92aW55bF9yZXRlbnRpdmVfY3Jhd2xpbmdfY2hhb3M=";
	afns_ad_redirect = "";
	afns_base_url = "http://www.avclub.com/content/";
		var afns_comments = 2;

</script>

	<base href="http://www.avclub.com/content/" />

	<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" />

	<link rel="alternate" title="A.V. Club Live Updates" href="http://feeds.theonion.com/avclub/daily" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<style type="text/css" media="all">@import "/content/modules/audio/audio.css?v=7d10549432e851d929b4835df5ec3587";</style><style type="text/css" media="all">@import "/content/themes/avclub/page/elements/blog.css?v=787d269070bae6c75cf4e7f3922ae8d2";</style><style type="text/css" media="all">@import "/content/themes/avclub/style/comments.css?v=3afd581eeb158d9b87aeca54239895f5";</style><style type="text/css" media="all">@import "/content/themes/avclub/page/elements/related.css?v=7ada7339d658835d9290db455e9e3017";</style><style type="text/css" media="all">@import "/content/misc/drupal.css?v=f79d29e0f15be9d1e413bc4d82eceaac";</style><style type="text/css" media="all">@import "/content/themes/avclub/page/elements/global.css?v=028ccc8eacb0cf0f862f4a2e8c98a2e6";</style><style type="text/css" media="all">@import "/content/themes/avclub/page/elements/article.css?v=6e0d6cfd4a5749bd96b8d4fb2057977b";</style><style type="text/css" media="all">@import "/content/themes/avclub/style/navbar.css?v=979d93811b66650c11f0fac079a7b064";</style>	<script type="text/javascript" src="/content/themes/common/scripts/ufo_compressed.js?v=154328114cad45c20785d004f6b6a317"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="/content/themes/common/scripts/AudioPlayer.js?v=9fc85b2eaf7b394e99f1d5f6a36cd819"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="/content/themes/common/scripts/jquery.js?v=ebe0ea764139f30972055e9f79972277"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="/content/themes/common/scripts/plugins/jquery.form.js?v=d296f572da41ccf9425a6514ebf72f83"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="/content/themes/common/scripts/plugins/jquery.cookie.js?v=88c6a74be48e2440b906b4ebdffb8b08"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="/content/themes/avclub/javascripts/main.js?v=8ccf741ddad140f693da1cd158e2d62d"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="/content/themes/avclub/javascripts/comments_threaded.js?v3?v=d41d8cd98f00b204e9800998ecf8427e"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="/content/themes/onion/scripts/email_this.js?v=93befa9856bf281d3292a7b5e9e80f0f"></script>

<meta name="description" content="Meet the solar panel to the sex machine." />
<meta name="copyright" content="(c) Copyright 2008 by Onion, Inc. All rights reserved." />
<meta name="keywords" content="Music" />
<meta name="site" content="avclub.com" />
<meta name="type" content="blog" />
<meta name="nid" content="79972" />
<meta name="date" content="May 20, 2008" />
<meta name="issue" content="4311" />
<meta name="teaser" content="Meet+the+solar+panel+to+the+sex+machine." />
<meta name="category" content="" />
<meta name="category2" content="" />
<meta name="title" content="Vinyl+Retentive%3A+Crawling+Chaos" />
<meta name="robots" value="noindex,follow"/>
<link rel="image_src" href="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/crawling+chaos2.thumbnail.jpg" />
<link rel="videothumbnail" href="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/crawling+chaos2.thumbnail.jpg" type="image/jpeg" />

<link rel="icon" href="/content//themes/avclub/favicon.ico"  type="image/x-icon" />
<link rel="shortcut icon" href="/content//themes/avclub/favicon.ico"  type="image/x-icon" />

<!-- OAS SETUP begin -->
<script type="text/javascript">
<!--
//configuration
//OAS_url = http://localhost/RealMedia/ads/';
OAS_url = http://web.archive.org/web/20040208151127/http://oascentral.theonion.com:80/RealMedia/ads/';
//OAS_sitepage = window.location.hostname + window.location.pathname;
OAS_sitepage = 'theonionavclub/blog';
OAS_listpos = 'Top,Right1,Bottom1,Middle';
OAS_query = '';
OAS_target = '_blank';
//end of configuration
OAS_version = 10;
OAS_rn = '001234567890'; OAS_rns = '1234567890';
OAS_rn = new String (Math.random()); OAS_rns = OAS_rn.substring (2, 11);
function OAS_NORMAL(pos) {
  document.write('<A HREF="' + OAS_url + 'click_nx.cgi/' + OAS_sitepage + '/1' + OAS_rns + '@' + OAS_listpos + '!' + pos + '?' + OAS_query + '" TARGET=' + OAS_target + '>');
  document.write('<IMG SRC="' + OAS_url + 'adstream_nx.cgi/' + OAS_sitepage + '/1' + OAS_rns + '@' + OAS_listpos + '!' + pos + '?' + OAS_query + '" BORDER=0></A>');
}

OAS_version = 11;
if (navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Mozilla/3') != -1 || navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Mozilla/4.0 WebTV') != -1)
  OAS_version = 10;
if (OAS_version >= 11)
  document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="' + OAS_url + 'adstream_mjx.ads/' + OAS_sitepage + '/1' + OAS_rns + '@' + OAS_listpos + '?' + OAS_query + '"><\/scr'+'ipt>');

document.write('');
function OAS_AD(pos) {
  if (OAS_version >= 11)
	OAS_RICH(pos);
  else
	OAS_NORMAL(pos);
}
//-->
</script>
<!-- OAS SETUP end -->
</head>
<body  id="blog" >

	<div id="omniture">

				 <!-- SiteCatalyst code version: H.6.
		Copyright 1997-2006 Omniture, Inc. More info available at
		http://www.adobe.com/marketing-cloud.html -->
		<script language="JavaScript" src="http://www.avclub.com/content/themes/avclub/javascripts/omnitureprod/s_code.js"></script>
		<script language="JavaScript"><!--
				 s.channel = "Music"
s.pageName = "Vinyl Retentive: Crawling Chaos"
s.server = "origin.avclub.com"
s.pageType = "Page"
s.eVar1 = "blog"
s.eVar2 = "Blog"
s.eVar4 = "Blog With Comments"
s.eVar14 = "browse"
s.prop1 = "79972"
s.prop5 = "http://origin.avclub.com/content/blog/vinyl_retentive_crawling_chaos"
s.linkTrackEvents = "event4"
s.events = "event4"
s.prop50 = "Music"
				 /************* DO NOT ALTER ANYTHING BELOW THIS LINE ! **************/
		var s_code=s.t();if(s_code)document.write(s_code)//--></script>
		<script language="JavaScript"><!--
		if(navigator.appVersion.indexOf('MSIE')>=0)document.write(unescape('%3C')+'\!-'+'-')
		//--></script>
		<noscript><img src="http://statistics.avclub.com/b/ss/theonionavclubprod/1/H.7--NS/0" height="1" width="1" border="0" alt="" /></noscript>
		<!--/DO NOT REMOVE/-->
		<!-- End SiteCatalyst code version: H.6. -->
				 	</div>

	<div id="wrapper">

		<div id="header">
			<div id="top_logo">
  <div id="logo">
    <a href="/content/home"><img src="/content/themes/avclub/images/nav/avclub_logo.gif" alt="A.V. Club"/></a>
  </div>
  <div id="top_banner" class="advert banner">
    <script type="text/javascript">OAS_AD('Top');</script>  </div>
</div>

		</div>

		<div id="main">

			<!-- start main content -->		

			<div id="content">
				<div id="blog_top">
	<h1>A.V. Club Blog</h1>

	<div class="dotted">&nbsp;</div>

</div>

<div id="blog_main_content">

	<!-- blog -->
	<div id="blog_entry">

			<a name="79972">&nbsp;</a>
		<!-- categ info -->

		<!-- blog info -->
		<div class="blog_info">
			<h2 class="bm"><a href="/content/blog/vinyl_retentive_crawling_chaos">Vinyl Retentive: Crawling Chaos</a></h2>
			<div class="tm mt">posted by: <b><a href="author/jheller">Jason Heller</a></b></div>
			<div class="smalltext">May 20, 2008 - 4:49pm</div><br/>
		</div>

					<div class="blog_body article_text">
				<i>In Vinyl Retentive, A.V. Clubbers share what we find while crate-digging in our own houses.</i><p><p><p>
			<p class="two c">
			<img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/crawling chaos2.jpg" alt="Crawling Chaos vinyl" title="Crawling Chaos vinyl"  width="360" height="270" />
			</p><!--[image:79767]--><p><p><p><b>Crawling Chaos</b><p><p><p><b>”Sex Machine” b/w “Berlin”</b><p><p><p><b>Factory Records, 1980</b><p><p><p><b>Format:</b> 7-inch single<p><p><p><b>File Under:</b> The unsexiest booty jam ever<p><p><p>Seeing as how I covered James Brown in <a href="http://www.avclub.com/content/blog/vinyl_retentive_james_brown">last week’s Vinyl Retentive</a>, it seems perversely fitting to follow it up with Crawling Chaos’ “Sex Machine.” Nope, it’s not a cover of JB’s funk anthem—in fact, if his “Sex Machine” is a stiff dose of aural Viagra, Crawling Chaos’ is the musical equivalent of getting punched in the groin. While being forced to watch barnyard porn. Starring your mom and dad.<p><p><p>
<!-- start audio player -->

	<!-- start audio clip -->
		<div class="audio_track_slim_player">
			<h4 class="title">"Sex Machine" by Crawling Chaos</h4>
			<div class="audio_track_small_player" id="player_79758"></div>
			<script type="text/javascript">
			   var player = new AudioPlayer("player_79758","http://www.avclub.com/content/audio/play/79758" );
			   player.play();
			</script>
					</div>
	<!-- end audio clip -->
<!-- end audio player -->

<p><p><p>“It was (and still is) an unwritten policy,” it is, well, written on <a href="http://crawlingchaos.co.uk/myths">the band’s website</a>, “for Crawling Chaos and their ilk to annoy as many people as possible.” While it’s not exactly clear who their ilk are, the group’s two core members—Doomage Khult and Strangely Perfect, the latter being maybe my favorite punkonym next to Will Shatter—were spurred to form Crawling Chaos by the British punk explosion of the ’70s. Further inspired by proto-industrial noise terrorists like Cabaret Voltaire and Throbbing Gristle—as well as the macabre prose of H.P. Lovecraft, whose “The Crawling Chaos” might have had some small influence on the band’s name—Khult and Perfect did, as promised, annoy. In fact, the band only barely managed to get signed to the legendary Factory Records; allegedly, the decision was hotly debated by Factory head Tony Wilson and partner Rob Gretton. It didn’t help band-label relations much when Factory wound up having to siphon money from Joy Division profits to press the Crawling Chaos’ debut single, “Sex Machine,” which came in an embossed, expensive-to-produce sleeve.<p><p><p>
			<p class="two c">
			<img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/crawling chaos.jpg" alt="Crawling Chaos, "Sex Machine" b/w "Berlin"" title="Crawling Chaos, "Sex Machine" b/w "Berlin""  width="360" height="270" />
			</p><!--[image:79757]--><p><p><p>At the time, Factory had just three bands on its roster: The Durutti Column, A Certain Ratio, and the recently beheaded Joy Division (with OMD already having defected to a major label). As relatively eclectic as that bunch was, Crawling Chaos didn’t fit in with any of them. Even the sexiest of the Factory bands, A Certain Ratio, bore the label’s trademark cold, clean lines and antiseptic aura. Crawling Chaos, though, was a fucking wreck. Gangling, ungainly, sloppy, self-sabotaging, murderously humorous, and perhaps mildly insane, the group appropriated the title of one of James Brown’s most archetypal funk tracks and basically took a big dump on it. Clinical detachment was the name of the game when it came to that era’s synthesizer-backed post-punk, but Crawling Chaos was about as robotically aloof as a rusty lawnmower—and “Sex Machine” is a dripping, glorious, psychosexual phantasmagoria worthy of Ballard or Cronenberg (or a precociously perverted 11-year-old). The synths are demented, the singing shrill, the beats nearly brain-dead—but it’s the lyrics alone that are worth a trip to the nut farm:<p><p><p><b>I’ve got a brand new pair of genes<p>I’ve been to the doc, he’s got the means<p>He’s turned me into a sex machine<p>He’s given me a pair of enormous balls<p>That could even fill the Festival Hall<p>With schoolgirls screaming for more and more<p><p><p>I'm going to the doctor’s<p>It’s easy you see<p>No need for operations<p>And you’ll know how it feels<p><p><p>Tomorrow I get my hands done<p>With fifteen fingers and a phallic thumb<p>I’ll rattle the girls till they come and come<p>The stomach lining change has really done the trick<p>It brews alcohol and gives me kicks<p>And makes me have supersonic sicks<p><p><p>I’ve got pricks on my toes and one on my nose<p>And some on my back that nobody knows<p>But the one I got first still grows and grows<p>I’ve got a set of clits hanging in my ear<p>I’ve been to the doc to get a smear<p>He told me I had gonorrhea<p><p><p>A nuclear prick is hidden up my bum<p>I tried it on a lady who likes some fun<p>And she got blown to kingdom come</b><p><p><p>Still, “Sex Machine”—as refreshingly anti-pop and counter-aphrodisiac as it is—sounds like Depeche Mode compared to the single’s B-side, “Berlin.” The name of that city at that time bore connotations of Lou Reed, David Bowie, and the Teutonic lockstep of Krautrock, which were all clear influences on Crawling Chaos. And they all melt into a dissonant mess all over “Berlin,” an aimlessly menacing jam that limps and burps along for seven torturous minutes before succumbing to some kind of sonic gangrene. In other words: It’s fantastic.<p><p><p>
<!-- start audio player -->

	<!-- start audio clip -->
		<div class="audio_track_slim_player">
			<h4 class="title">"Berlin" by Crawling Chaos</h4>
			<div class="audio_track_small_player" id="player_79759"></div>
			<script type="text/javascript">
			   var player = new AudioPlayer("player_79759","http://www.avclub.com/content/audio/play/79759" );
			   player.play();
			</script>
					</div>
	<!-- end audio clip -->
<!-- end audio player -->

<p><p><p><b>Current whereabouts:</b> Crawling Chaos’ relationship with Factory went south soon after the release of their debut album, 1982’s equally sick and surreal <i>The Gas Chair</i>. From there the band started releasing records on its own label, Foetus (no relation to Jim Thirlwell’s pioneering industrial project of the same name, although it’s not hard to imagine Thirlwell and Crawling Chaos being mutual admirers). Khult and Perfect gradually drifted away from the group, although they reunited in 2003 for a new full-length titled <i>Homunculus Equinox</i>.<p><p><p>While loved by ’90s indie-pop luminaries <a href="http://www.avclub.com/content/node/77971">Unrest</a>, who covered “Sex Machine” on a Sub Pop single in 1991, Crawling Chaos has sadly been forgotten in favor of their more somber and earnest post-punk contemporaries. When Factory’s resident Joy Division clones, Crispy Ambulance, are more fondly remembered than you are, you know you’ve definitely annoyed all the right people—like, for instance, critic Simon Reynolds, who figured Crawling Chaos didn’t even warrant a mention in his definitive post-punk history, <i>Rip It Up And Start Again</i>. Despite the Factory-mania that followed <i>24 Hour Party People</i>—not to mention the whole post-punk revival of the aughts—Crawling Chaos doesn’t even have its own Wikipedia entry. Apparently undaunted, Khult and Perfect <a href="http://crawlingchaos.co.uk/?p=105"> are still plugging away</a>. <p><p><p><b>Availability:</b> The “Sex Machine”/“Berlin” 45 is currently on sale for between $40 and $70 on the Internet, but both sides showed up as bonus tracks on the recent CD reissue of <i>The Gas Chair</i>.<p>			</div>
			<!-- comments -->
			<div id="blog_comments">

<script type="text/javascript">

		var comments_nid = '79972';
	var comments_url = 'blog%2Fvinyl_retentive_crawling_chaos';
	comment_base = afns_base_url + "comments/drupal/"+comments_nid;

	function metrics_click( nid )
	{
		var s = s_gi('theonionavclubprod');
		s.linkTrackVars='events';
		s.linkTrackEvents='';
		s.tl(this,'o','comments_'+nid);
	}
</script>

<!-- start comments -->
<div id="comments_section">

	<a name="comments_start" id="comment_anchor"></a>

	<div id="comments_wrapper">
		<div id="comments">
			<h2 id="comments_title">- Comments</h2>
			<ul class="topics">
				<li class="topic">
					<div class="comment anonymous">Loading Comments...</div>
				</li>
			</ul>
		</div>
	</div>

	<a id="add_comment_link" href="#comment_form">Add a new comment </a>
	<a name="comment_form"></a>

	<form style="display: none;" autofill="off" id="comment_submit_form" method="post" onsubmit="comment_submit(); return false;" action="/content/comments/drupal/79972/">

	<p class="login_info">
		To reserve a username, <a href="/content/user/register">register</a> and  <a href="/content/user/login">login</a>
	</p>

	<input id="comment_parent" name="parent_id" value="0" type="hidden">
	<input name="comment" value="add" type="hidden">

	<ul id="comment_info">
	   <li>
		  <label for="nickname">your name</label>
		  <input id="comment_nickname" size="50" maxlength="128" name="nickname" value="" type="text">
	   </li>
	   <li>
		  <label for="title">subject</label>
		  <input id="comment_title" size="50" maxlength="128" name="title" type="text">
	   </li>
	   <li>
		  <label for="text">comment</label>

		  <textarea id="comment_comment" cols="50" rows="10" name="text"></textarea>
	   </li>
	</ul>

	<div style="display: none;" id="comment_captcha">
	   <div id="captcha_id"></div>
	   <label for="comment_captcha_text">please enter the word in the black box</label>
	   <input id="comment_captcha_text" size="20" maxlength="128" name="captcha_value" type="text">
	   <input id="comment_captcha_id" name="captcha_id" value="" type="hidden">
	</div>

	<div id="comment_buttons">
		<input id="comment_session" name="session" value="" type="hidden" />
		<input value="Submit comment" type="submit" />
		<input class="button" id="comment_cancel" name="cancel" value="Cancel" type="button" onclick="afns_closeForm();return false;"/>
	</div>
	<div id="comment_status">

	</div>
	</form>

	<a name="comments_end">&nbsp;</a>

	<script type="text/javascript">
		try{
			loadComments(afns_startPage);
		}catch(e){
			loadComments(0);
		}
	</script>

</div>

<!-- end comments -->
							</div>

	</div>

		<script type="text/javascript">
		afns_makeCommentable("blog_entry");
	</script>

	<div id="blog_related">

		<div id="contact">
			<span class="smalltext">

			XML Feed:
			<a href="/content/blog/feed" id="rss">RSS</a>
							<br />
				<!-- article tools -->
				<div id="article_tools">
					<!-- start tools -->

<ul class="tools">
  <li>
    <a name="top"></a>
    <a href="javascript:void(0);" onclick="afns_email_this(); return false;">
      <span class="icon"><img src="/content/themes/avclub/images/icons/email.png" alt=""/></span>Email</a>
    <div id="top_emtf">
      <script>
function afns_email_this(isBottom) {
    $(".email_to").val("Enter Destination Email");
    if(isBottom) {
        $('#top_emtf').show();
        $(".email_to").focus();
    } else {
        $('#top_emtf').toggle();
    }
}
</script>
<!-- start emtf -->
<div class="emtf">
  <h3>email</h3>
  <form class="email_this" action="" onsubmit="return false;">
    <p><label for="email_to">To:</label><br />
      <input type="text" class="email_to" name="email" value="" /></p>
    <p><label for="email_from">From:</label><br />
      <input type="text" class="email_from" name="from" value="" /></p>
    <input type="hidden" class="email_message" value="" name="user_message" />
    <p class="email_submit_line">
      <input class="image_submit" src="/content/themes/avclub/images/buttons/submit.gif" alt="Submit" type="image" />
    </p>
    <p class="email_status"></p>
    <input name="nid" class="email_nid hidden" type="hidden" value="79972" />
    <input name="ticket" class="email_ticket hidden" type="hidden" value="" />
    <input name="action" class="email_action hidden" type="hidden" value="" />
    <input name="site"  class="email_site hidden" type="hidden" value="avclub_email" />
  </form>
</div>
<!-- end emtf -->
<script type="text/javascript">
$(".email_this").find(".image_submit").click(email_submit_ticket);
$(".email_this").find(".email_to").keypress(email_clear_status);
</script>    </div>
  </li>

  <li>
    <a href="node/79972/print/">
      <span class="icon"><img src="/content/themes/avclub/images/icons/print.png" alt=""/></span>Print</a>
  </li>

        <li>
        <a  href="/content/blog/vinyl_retentive_crawling_chaos#comments_start" onclick="javascript: show_comments();">
          <span class="icon"><img src="/content/themes/avclub/images/icons/forum_t.png" alt=""/></span>Discuss</a>
      </li>
</ul>

<!-- end tools -->				</div>
				<br />

			</span>
		</div>

		<!-- ad -->
		<div id="box_ad">
			<div>Advertisement</div>
			<script type="text/javascript">OAS_AD('Middle');</script>		</div>

				<!-- by author -->
		<div id="byauthor">

	<div id="recent" class="related">
		<h4>More posts by this author</h4>
		<ul>
							<li class="element_0">
																				<p class="timestamp">May 30, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/newswire/spidey_4_musical_on_the_way"><i>Spidey 4</i>, musical on the way</a>
					<p class="teaser">Marvel Vice-President Peter Cuneo says that the fourth installment in the Spider-Man film franchise </p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_1">
																				<p class="timestamp">May 29, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/newswire/hater_coming_to_big_screen"><i>Hater</i> coming to big screen</a>
					<p class="teaser">Although plenty busy with, among other things, a little duology called <i>The Hobbit</i>, <i>Pan’s Labyrinth</i> director Guillermo Del Toro has...</p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_2">
																				<p class="timestamp">May 28, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/newswire/rip_earle_hagen">RIP Earle Hagen</a>
					<p class="teaser">Earle Hagen—the Emmy-winning composer of some of the most indelible TV theme songs of all time—</p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_3">
															<a class="thumbnail" href="/content/blog/vinyl_retentive_the_locust_arab_on" ><img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/locust1.thumbnail.jpg" alt="The Locust/Arab On Radar" title="The Locust/Arab On Radar"  height="64px" width="85px" /></a>					<p class="timestamp">May 28, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/blog/vinyl_retentive_the_locust_arab_on">Vinyl Retentive: The Locust/Arab On Radar</a>
					<p class="teaser">A one-two cockpunch of transcendental retardation.</p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_4">
																				<p class="timestamp">May 23, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/newswire/demme_takes_over_marley_film">Demme takes over Marley film</a>
					<p class="teaser">There are <a href="http://www.avclub.com/content/newswire/bob_marley_biopic_on_the_way">two Bob Marley films on the way</a>—the biopic <i>No Woman...</i></p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_5">
																				<p class="timestamp">May 22, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/newswire/tracklist_of_starbucks_sonic">Tracklist of Starbucks' Sonic Youth CD revealed</a>
					<p class="teaser">It’s been almost <a href="http://origin.avclub.com/content/newswire/you_could_be_in_starbucks_you">a year in the making</a>, but Starbucks’...</p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_6">
																				<p class="timestamp">May 21, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/newswire/denny_s_to_add_rock_star_menus">Denny’s to add Rock Star Menus</a>
					<p class="teaser">And you thought <a href="http://www.avclub.com/content/newswire/taco_bell_feeds_the_indie">Taco Bell</a> was the only restaurant chain trying to...</p>
				</li>
					</ul>
	</div>		</div>

		<!-- recent -->
		<div id="recent">

	<div id="recent" class="related">
		<h4>Recent Blog Entries</h4>
		<ul>
							<li class="element_0">
															<a class="thumbnail" href="/content/blog/ephemereview_barry_cooper_s_never" ><img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/nevergetbusted_ss-1.thumbnail.jpg" alt="BC2" title="BC2"  height="73px" width="64px" /></a>					<p class="timestamp">May 20, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/blog/ephemereview_barry_cooper_s_never">Ephemereview: <i>Barry Cooper’s Never Get Busted Again Vol.1: Traffic Stops</i></a>
					<p class="teaser">Tips on not getting busted with weed from an ex-cop who's been arrested five times.</p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_1">
															<a class="thumbnail" href="/content/blog/avc_field_trip_the_nra_expo" ><img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/tantalized.thumbnail.jpg" alt="tantalized" title="tantalized"  height="64px" width="64px" /></a>					<p class="timestamp">May 19, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/blog/avc_field_trip_the_nra_expo">AVC Field Trip: The NRA Expo</a>
					<p class="teaser">A dispatch from the National Restaurant Association expo, a.k.a. Homer Simpson's heaven.</p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_2">
															<a class="thumbnail" href="/content/blog/song_and_vision_no_3_my_rifle_my" ><img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/rio_bravo-1.jpg" alt="rickiy and dean" title="rickiy and dean"  height="64px" width="114px" /></a>					<p class="timestamp">May 19, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/blog/song_and_vision_no_3_my_rifle_my">Song And Vision No. 3: "My Rifle, My Pony, And Me" and <i>Rio Bravo</i></a>
					<p class="teaser">Along with being one of my favorite filmmakers Quentin Tarantino is also one of my favorite film critics. It’s a shame Tarantino...</p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_3">
															<a class="thumbnail" href="/content/blog/silly_little_show_biz_book_club" ><img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/filename.thumbnail_75.jpg" alt="WJH?" title="WJH?"  height="64px" width="96px" /></a>					<p class="timestamp">May 16, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/blog/silly_little_show_biz_book_club"> Silly Little Show-Biz Book Club: Art Linson’s<i> What Just Happened?</i></a>
					<p class="teaser">The Willy Loman of Hollywood producers kvetches up a storm. Mild amusement ensues.  </p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_4">
															<a class="thumbnail" href="/content/blog/box_of_paperbacks_the_x_factor" ><img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/xfactor.jpg" alt="xfactorlarge" title="xfactorlarge"  height="113px" width="64px" /></a>					<p class="timestamp">May 15, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/blog/box_of_paperbacks_the_x_factor">Box Of Paperbacks: <i>The X Factor</i></a>
					<p class="teaser"><b>The Box Of Paperbacks Book Club: <i>The X Factor</i> by Andre Norton (1965)</b>
<p><i>(Not long ago, </i>A.V. Club<i> editor Keith Phipps...</p></i></p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_5">
																				<p class="timestamp">May 15, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/blog/great_vintage_blues_3_bukka_white">Great Vintage Blues #3: Bukka White</a>
					<p class="teaser">This time out, let’s check in on a few songs by <a href=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bukka_White>Booker T. Washington “Bukka” White</a>, who...</p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_6">
															<a class="thumbnail" href="/content/blog/vinyl_retentive_james_brown" ><img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/james brown.thumbnail.jpg" alt="James Brown, "I Don't Mind" b/w "Love Don't Love Nobody"" title="James Brown, "I Don't Mind" b/w "Love Don't Love Nobody""  height="64px" width="85px" /></a>					<p class="timestamp">May 13, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/blog/vinyl_retentive_james_brown">Vinyl Retentive: James Brown</a>
					<p class="teaser">The Godfather had a head start.</p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_7">
															<a class="thumbnail" href="/content/blog/introducing_ephemereview_dane_cook" ><img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/filename_3.thumbnail_6.jpg" alt="DC" title="DC"  height="64px" width="64px" /></a>					<p class="timestamp">May 13, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/blog/introducing_ephemereview_dane_cook">Introducing Ephemereview: <i>Dane Cook: The Lost Pilots</i></a>
					<p class="teaser">Yay! New Feature! Boo! New Feature! Meh, New Feature! (Choose One)</p>
				</li>
							<li class="element_8">
															<a class="thumbnail" href="/content/blog/the_overdue_demise_of_ministry" ><img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/jourg2.thumbnail.jpg" alt="jourg2" title="jourg2"  height="64px" width="65px" /></a>					<p class="timestamp">May 13, 2008</p>
					<a href="/content/blog/the_overdue_demise_of_ministry">The Overdue Demise of Ministry</a>
					<p class="teaser">A dispatch from the band's anticlimactic farewell stand in Chicago.</p>
				</li>
					</ul>
	</div>		</div>

		<!-- adsense -->
		<div id="adsense">
					</div>

	</div>

</div>
			</div>

			<!-- end main content -->

	    </div>
		<div id="nav_left">

	<!-- search -->
	<form id="top_search" method="post" action="search/node">
		<input name="edit[keys]" class="textfield" value="Search" onfocus="this.value=''" type="text">
		<input class="button" src="themes/avclub/images/buttons/go.png" alt="Go" type="image">
	</form>

	<ul id="nav">
		<li class="first home" ><a href="/content/home">Home</a></li>
		<li class="features"><a href="/content/features">Features</a></li>
		<li class="interviews"><a href="/content/interviews">Interviews</a></li>
		<li class="cinema"><a href="/content/cinema">cinema</a></li>
		<li class="music"><a href="/content/music">music</a></li>
		<li class="dvd"><a href="/content/dvd">dvd</a></li>
		<li class="words"><a href="/content/words">words</a></li>
		<li class="games"><a href="/content/games">games</a></li>
	</ul>
	<ul id="nav_secondary" class="">
		<li class="thehater"><a href="/content/hater">The Hater</a></li>
		<li class="blog"><a href="/content/tvclub">T.V. Club</a></li>
		<li class="videocracy"><a href="/content/videocracy">Videocracy</a></li>
		<li class="blog"><a href="/content/blog">A.V. Blog</a></li>
		<li class="inventory"><a href="/content/inventory">Inventory</a></li>
		<li class="randomrules"><a href="/content/randomrules">Random Rules</a></li>
		<li class="fttf"><a href="/content/fttf">Films That Time Forgot</a></li>
		<li class="ctotd"><a href="/content/ctotd">Commentary Tracks of the Damned</a></li>
		<li class="gool"><a href="/content/gool">Games of our Lives</a></li>
		<li class="redmeat"><a href="/content/redmeat">Redmeat</a></li>
		<li class="savagelove"><a href="/content/savagelove">Savage Love</a></li>
		<li class="newsletters"><a href="/content/newsletters">Newsletters</a></li>
		<li class="crossword"><a href="/content/most_recent/avclub_crossword">Crossword</a></li>
		<li class="avclub_archives"><a href="/content/avclub_archives">Archives</a></li>
	</ul>
	<div id="login_name">
	</div>

	<!-- Skyscraper Ad -->
	<div class="advert skyscraper one">
	<script type="text/javascript">OAS_AD('Right1');</script>	</div>
		</div>

		<div id="article_nav">
			<!-- placeholder -->
		</div>

  <div id="footer">
    <ul id="site-links">
		<li class="element_1"><a href="rss" class="xml">RSS</a></li>
		<li class="element_2"><a href="home">Home</a></li>
		<li><a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/jobs" target="_blank">Jobs</a></li>
		<li><a href="/content/contact">Contact Us</a></li>
		<li><a href="/content/about">Help &amp; Faq</a></li>
		<li><a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/privacy" target="_blank">Privacy Policy</a></li>
		<li><a href="http://mediakit.theonion.com" target="_blank">Press</a></li>
		<li><a href="http://mediakit.theonion.com" target="_blank">Advertising</a></li>
  	</ul>

	 <p id="copyright">
	   <b>&copy; Copyright 2008, Onion Inc.  All Rights Reserved</b>
	 </p>
	<!--end Wrapper -->
	</div>

<!-- tracking -->

<script src="http://www.google-analytics.com/urchin.js" type="text/javascript">
</script>
<script type="text/javascript">
	_uacct = "UA-223393-2";
	urchinTracker();
</script>

<script src="http://content.dl-rms.com/rms/mother/5781/nodetag.js"></script>

	</div>
</body>

</html>

Related Posts:

Windows XP SP3 Update Delayed – apparently

The latest news is that SP3 has been delayed due to a bug in some shopping/WMS software that Microsoft makes called DRM. This isn’t the Digital Rights Management so beloved of the Hollywood film studios and Record Company Executives, but a WMS for shops etc. Here’s an news example on Computer Buyer Magazine. The trouble is that M$ say it’s a compatibility issue between XP / Vista / DRM. Really, it’s the DRM software so the updates have to wait until the DRM package is sorted, otherwise all the Vista SP1 and XP SP3 builds and pre-released CDs would need recalling and fixing. This is a TechNet posting on it.

In fact, for me, I downloaded the SP3 ISO, cut it to CD, then installed it last night with no problems… I must be lucky (but see later).

Windows XP SP3 Install Experience

XP_SP3_introFYI the ISO size is ~560Mb

My install took well under 30mins as most of the stuff was up-to-date on my PC anyway. This is the first screen at left. There is an oddity though……

XP_SP3_InstallNowOn the second install screen, there is a link called “What to know before installing Service Pack 3”. Unfortunately, it links to a file called FAQ.HTM. Check this uploaded file and you’ll see that it’s the blurb that should accompany the SP2 update from years back…

The correct file is there in the ISO image, called READMESP.HTM which you can see on the link I’ve uploaded as well. (If you check the link, you’ll see the file is copyright 2007, which shows how long Microsoft have been sitting on this).

What I’d like to know is if simple errors like this are going to manifest themselves in my updated windows installation at some future date? Or is this a one off?

Or in light of the memo at the beginning of this post, is it a two, or even a three-off?

And why has Microsoft delayed the SP3 launch for so long? Could this be to ensure enough take-up of the dismal Vista offering?

Related Posts:

Comments are closed

WordPress Stats Problem – fixed

Strangely post on April 27th, 2008
Posted in Technology Tags: , , , , , , ,

I’ve kept up with all the upgrades etc for WordPress and all the add-ons I use. But two days ago the internal stats system that is http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/stats/ stopped working. It took these last few days to sort but it turns out a key line was missing from my new theme, illacrimo.

However, it turns out that the info was there all along, if only I’d looked ;(

This page, http://wordpress.org/support/topic/169528?replies=11 in the forums was the pointer, but the answer was here http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/stats/faq/, in the FAQs all along. And I quote:

What if the stats don’t start showing up? Do I need anything special in my theme?

Yes, your theme must have a call to <?php spwp_footer(); ?> at the very bottom right before the </body> tag.

So there we have it. I did it and it worked. Now to get the other problems sorted…

Related Posts:

Comments are closed

© 2007-2017 Strangely Perfect All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by me