Tag Archive: jollity

Foetus Products Shop Made Simple

Foetus Products Shop Open

Foetus Products

Foetus Products

In preparation for our next release, Spookhouse, I’ve set up a proper shop to sell it!  Our intention is to sell everything ourselves via this sole outlet. (Click image for the UK shopping site.)

The announcement is on the Crawling Chaos website here.

Kicking off the shop I’ve reworked (…er…shouldn’t that be ‘am in the process of re-working?…) all tracks from the two previous CD issues.  Finally I’ve had a decent handle of the articles…

Some have been substantially changed which may upset the purists, my current modus operandi being to imagine myself back then using the current software and equipment I now have at my disposal, then to change the existing 2-track recordings to best fit this basic idea.  After all, they’re already in the digital domain – so I may as well try and make them something like how I/we wanted originally, but was thwarted by technology.

In tandem with this, I’ve whipped out some jam and hidden parts in tribute especially to Paul, Jeff & Garry, because this was the core of many creations that appear on those two releases and turned them into something dark and tragic, as that’s how I currently feel about their absence from the planet.

As Steve Jobs once said,

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Close observers will spot the “new” tracks.  They are there to highlight our jollity, our bleakness, the tiny hidden gems of deftness in improvisational Jeff’s playing and Paul’s lyricism, the randomness of Gazza and the end that must come to us all.

All this stuff is competitively priced compared to the muffled output from the usual on-line stores.


The Spookhouse design is currently being set.  Downloads from the CD will be available following the CD release.

Other Items

These will be released, mainly as download, for other artists wanting to contribute to to the Foetus Products collective sound resource.  This isn’t a joke.  We really mean it folks!


I’ve set it up using open-source software on the foetusproducts.co.uk domain.  All links are secure where they need to be using a SSL Certificate I bought from GoDaddy.com, as they were had a special offer going…!  It’s security level is the highest you can get (it uses a 2048 bit key), which means folks should have no qualms about their bank getting raided or whatever if they buy from us.

Users will have a choice of two financial transaction processors – PayPal and Google Checkout for which I’ve set up merchant accounts.  They’re ubiquitous and most people are familiar with their operation nowadays.  I thought about using Amazon, but they don’t currently process for digital items.

The reason that we’ve gone this route harks back to our (i.e. Crawling Chaos’s) independence of spirit – and because our returns will be on par to going the iTunes route, say, for distribution.  We lose about 10% commission in the transaction process compared to a lot more through online download stores.

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Garbage Summer Science

Is This the Worst Science Project Ever?

Pitt JolieThe Daily Telegraph, short of stories this summer now that the expenses scandal is dead, has published a picture of Angelina Jolie under the heading:

Women getting more beautiful, say scientists: (see link)

According to some work done by  Finnish Philosopher/PsychologistYliopistotutkija – University Researcher Degree: Doctor of Philosophy Department of Psychology University of Helsinki P.O. Box 9 (Siltavuorenpenger 20 D) FIN-00014 University of Helsinki” http://web.archive.org/web/20100115033346/http://www.helsinki.fi:80/psykologia/english/introduction/personnel.htm Markus Jokela,

…attractive women have more children than their less attractive counterparts and that a higher proportion of those children are female…

The methodology was to look at 2000 Americans, and then decide that ‘beautiful‘ women had 16% more children.  How this ‘beauty‘ decision was derived, is unknown, save for the comment that,

“attractiveness was assessed from photographs taken during the study”

The article continues in the same vein by quoting the results of yet more “scientists” from the London School of Economics taken in 2006.  They had the same ‘results‘.

The gaffa in charge of this, Mr Kanazawa, said…,

“Physical attractiveness is a highly heritable trait, which disproportionately increases the reproductive success of daughters much more than that of sons.”

Rubbish Science

Dunce's Hat

Dunce’s Hat

The point is that the above statement is produced with absolutely NO backing.  It’s an opinion, that’s all. 

It could be equally well said about men.

Remember, it takes two to tango and make a child.   The fact that attractive men can rapidly spread their seed faster than any woman proves that this statement is bunkum…

Look at it like this…
  • In 9 months, a woman can parent one child.
  • In 9 months, with one successful shag per day, a man can parent 270 children.

Who is having the greater initial reproductive success?  Obviously, the man.

I’m sure that someone like Brad Pitt, Jolie’s husband, if let loose into the wild, would procreate many more children than Jolie could!  If he came to Bridgwater, it’d be legs akimbo for weeks followed by lots of little Brad lookalikes!  Apart from the jollity, this will seriously slew the statistics wholly against the research’s argument! It only takes one rampant male to break the ‘hard work’ of hundreds of ‘beautiful’ women taking a lifetime to improve the gene pool!

Or look at it like this…

DNAThis ‘research’ assumes that attractiveness is a one-way process and that women passively sit around waiting to choose the best mate (using what criteria, are we to wonder?).  Again, this is plain garbage.  Women aren’t passive.  If one of a woman’s criteria for mate choice is the appearance of the man, then it chucks out the research findings right out of the window.  Indeed, the ‘beauty’ gene, if it exists, could be being selected for because the man holds it (he having half of his mother’s genes, after all) without actually expressing it himself.

Note to Researchers: check out the difference between a genotype and a phenotype before spouting this muck.

Or Look at it This Way…

My Observation of many UK towns tells me that there are a lot of fat munters on the estates (call them endomorphs, please).  They all have appear to have heaps of children despite any perceived lack of ‘beauty‘.  So what does this mean to a ‘scientist‘ in this calibre of research?

A.  Using their specious logic, I could say that fat munters are the most successful breeders in the country.  I could say that only fat people breed fast.   I could make all sorts of scurrilous accusations about them and the reason(s) for the perceived fecundity.  Just like boys-nights-out on a Friday eyeing up the talent?   But I won’t….

Because Any Logic with like this is seriously flawed.

CrowdIt’s not logic, it’s just opinion dressed as fact.  What the Telegraph (and other media organisations) has done by publishing this rubbish as summer titter, is to denigrate the hard work of real scientists with the mumbo-jumbo claptrap from pseudo-scientists looking for job justification.

There’s a heap of proper evolutionary and genetic research that disproves this tripe, so why do the Telegraph publish it?  A.  To fill space.


Even defining beauty with the narrow bounds of appearance is hard enough – but beauty and appearance, the attractiveness of an individual – these are all complex concepts that have provided artists and writers material for millenia

The trouble with the ‘research’ and it’s reporting, is that it demeans the real work to titillate the lowest common denominators in society, with the result that scientists, striving for humanity’s betterment, are made to look like pariahs and idiots, which in the long run, is very, very bad.

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Musical Ties to a Racial Graveyard

It must be ties of karma from the distant past that have destined you to become my disciple at a time like this. – Nichiren Daishonin, The Heritage of The Ultimate Law of Life, WND1, p217

Or the Inter-Connectedness of all things

Like ALL people in Western Europe, I’m a racial mongrel.  And I observe that various aspects of my mixed genetic tribal past are manifested at different times within me.  I know for a fact that I am Angle, Saxon, Danish, Orkadian, Welsh (i.e.ancient Briton or Celt).  There’s probably a few more if I looked.

So it is with Till Lindemann, Apocalyptica, Amon Duul 2 etc.  Such was the thought that occurred to me about a present predilection for Germanic gloom.  At other times I have a preference for light-hearted jollity or Gallic emotion, naff musicals and daft adverts, crude humour or technical wizardry, melodic orchestrations or classical power.   And so it goes.

Apart from the non-modern drums, there’s not much difference between Helden here or Amon Duul II doing Deutsche Nepal, below.  The basal snarling, the home-made “Choir Organ”, saga-like tales of a glorious and courageous armed past…

Amon Duul II – Deutsch Nepal

Also try:

  • Cerberus
  • Archangel Thunderbird
  • Dem Guten,Schoenen Wahren
  • Eye-Shaking King

Germanic or what?

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Noose Tightens on Copyright Theft (Fixed Penalties for Downloaders Next!)

Following my little hit on Crawling Chaos tune nickers here google-security-to-crawling-chaos-and-morals/, the latest news is that a London woman, Isabella Barwinska, has been fined and costed a total of £16k!

Pirated Dream Pinball 3D Draws £16,000 Payment

Game sharers face legal crackdown

Game sharer hit with £16,000 judgement

The original case is reported here, which shows the extent to which big business is prepared to go.  Also, it’s not just games makers that are prepared to spend money on lawyers and turn the screw in various ways.  Last month they made a huge deal in the UK (Net firms in music pirates deal ) to legalise snooping on IP connections and thus send out warning letters automatically, turn down connection speeds and ultimately prosecute.

I suppose eventually it’ll be like speeding cameras and fines where there is no human involvement at all because in most cases the evidence will be so overwhelming that a defence is futile.

Fixed Penalties for Downloaders!

Ha Ha.

As an aside and as an example of the futility in trying to bring a little jollity into the BBC world, the BBC has a “Have Your Say” on-line section where people get issues of the day off their chest – and nothing happens – they just feel that something’s happened.

Anyway, this site, News Sniffer, monitors the BBC online output and makes notes on all editorial changes, which is interesting to watch the editor’s brains working, and also, monitors the censoring going on….

One post was censored from the “Have Your Say” item called, Should rules be tightened on file-sharing? It went like this:

Written by Barry, Glasgow, Glasgow on Tue Aug 19 09:51:23 UTC 2008. 1 recommendations.

Yes, all sorts of virus and diseases are spread through sharing files – fungal infections being the most common. I got a nail infection by sharing someones file. We should aim to keep everyone in good health and ban the sharing of files. One file per person, simple, no transfer of infections.

I thought it was a typical bit of spontaneous English whimsy, the kind Ken Dodd talks about, and shows that the grey suits are finding their way into the on-line BBC world when previously it was left to geeks, propellor heads and other misunderstood undesirables.

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