Tag Archive: madness

Terry Fuckwits on Lindisfarne Causeway


Northumberland is a lovely place – cold, sunny, windy, dry, overcast, damp, clear, clean and historic.  But mainly brrr  and wow!  Especially on the coast.

It’s quite popular with tourists.  Here’s why I go there…

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why do the fuckwits?

Sign at the start of the causeway

Sign at the start of the causeway

The historic island of Lindisfarne (Holy Island) is connected to the mainland via a tarmac causeway, which is passable for about 2/3 of the time.  The rest of the time, the twice daily tides whoosh in at varying speeds and depths, cover the causeway, and it’s a proper island!


Now, in the continuing quest to be top in the Darwin awards, it’s become a mecca for fuckwits of all ages, sexes and nationalities. 

True equality.

"Invisible" warning signs!

"Invisible" warning signs!

The most recent were this pair of Glasgow fuckwits (see Couple rescued from rising tide), whose excuse for getting stuck was that “they didn’t see the signs”….  These signs are the only non-natural colours for miles! There are several, and they are big.  (also see the Seahouses Lifeboat call-out record, #018 on this page and Tidal tourists mystify islanders)

Close Up of Warning Sign

Close Up of Warning Sign

The man was supposed to have a medical condition –  was it eyesight related? What if they can’t see children playing in the road – or red lights!  Jeesh.  Get off the road mate and get a taxi in future if you can’t see to drive.

Terry Fuckwit History

Terry Fuckwitt

Terry Fuckwit is a Viz character (see here).  A fictional dolt.  But it’s not all fiction.  This is a list of recent rescues from the website of the Northumberland Gazette, the local paper.


This is the Journal Live report on the daft Jocks.  The Journal Newspaper carries tide times and safe crossing times to Lindisfarne – it always has.

Tide Times are on the internet too!  This website is fast – http://www.holy-island.info/lindisfarnecastle/2009/ and should keep even the fuckwitiest nonce right.  You’d think?

But No…

Fuckwit-dom Continues

As if more proof were needed, here are a selection of YouTube videos detailing the fuckwit exploits or else examining the power of the sea as it rushes across the small gap.  Mostly, it appears to be a competition to see who can drive through the deepest water…?  One posted video, from BIRDY1572, displays the thickdom with their comment…

Holy isle causeway in northumberland if you are ever in area visit this unusual phenomenem.(sic)

Er.  Pardon me.  It’s not unusual. The tide comes in and goes out twice a day.  It always has….  QED.

Train on the Level Crossing at Beal Heading towards the causeway - © Copyright Gary Rogers

One other thing:  On the way down to Holy island from the A1, the road crosses the East Coast mainline via a level crossing.   QUESTION: Do these gambling fuckwits play the same game on the crossing?

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Nazi Griffen Burns his Own Boat

Strangely post on July 9th, 2009
Posted in Freedom Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sink or Swim

The odious Griffen has spoken.

Despite hating the EU to which he hypocritically got elected to it’s parliament with the intention of bringing it down, he now is in favour of any authoritarian measure to help close our borders – the latest being to sink poor immigrants in their boats and chuck them a liferaft…

Apart from the obvious barbarity, already many people lose their lives in the crossings yet are still prepared to try.  One more obstacle, one extra means to a nasty death is surely not going to deter them one iota.

Griffen.  Cruel and bird-brained.

The real madness is in voting for him – vote to castrate yourself, that’s what that is.

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Crap Cycle Lanes and Other Madness

@AmazonThis is an unashamed plug for the Warrington Cycle Campaign.

Their dedicated work over the years has now brought in the first real 20mph zone in their town (see here).  Elsewhere on the website, is an article called The Effect of Cycle Lanes on Cyclists’ Road Space. (pdf file) …

Have a look.  The photos clearly show the effect of road markings on driver behaviour.

Humber Bridge Approach

Humber Bridge Approach

As an aside, now consider these road markings on this ‘safety’ photo from the Warrington Cycle Campaign’s ‘Facility of the Month‘ feature.   Just remind yourself, that highly trained road engineers were paid a dollop of cash for designing this crap. If you were a cyclist, what would you do when confronted by this idiocy?

For myself, the A38 as it hammers down in it’s notional 30mph way through Bridgwater provides even less room than the photos in the report.  I have a few dirty marks on my right elbow from vehicles that have brushed me by….

Funnily enough, if I creep along at 12mph, drivers give me about 2m room usually.  On the other hand, if I’m cycling along at 26mph they give me about 0.5m room – work that one out!!!

The cyclists in Bridgwater don’t make it easy though.  Motorists are inured to the bizarre cycling which goes some way to  validating their behaviour.

  • Q. How so?
  • A.  Well most seem to cycle with a complete arse about tit attitude to personal and other’s safety.

In my journeys to and from the office, I’ve characterised two main types of (adult) cyclist.  Children & teens don’t count.  Adults should know better.

  1. The sort who cycle on the road with rusty bikes and no lights at night.
  2. The sort who cycle along the footpath on brand new Daewoo’s from Halfords, lights showing at night!

So the people with lights cycle on the path – and vice-versa.  Complete madness!  As bad as the road marking engineers!

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Trying a New WordPress Cache Method

Strangely post on February 16th, 2009
Posted in Technology Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’ve decided in my twiddling madness, to try a new caching plug-in;

DB Cache

So far, it seems to be quicker at page loading compared to the previous caching method, WP-(Super) Cache, which isn’t bad considering all the ones and zeroes are crossing the Atlantic Ocean to get to my humble abode.

Whether the claimed times and query counts are true, I don’t rightly know.  All I know is that I’m a bit of a clueless c**t at this lark sometimes and rely wholly on personal observation.

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Nutters in the Sky, Nutters on the Ground

In the news today is an event from the end of April that should cause concern for anyone living on the ground – er, that’s all of us except for the nutters at Boeing or the CAFE Foundation, say.

The BBC have labelled the shameless plug as Heading skyward to beat gridlock, where the nutters in the aviation industry, whose job is, after all, to make and sell airairplanes, rekindled the idea of personal air transportation for all, without considering the logical consequences at all of their madness.

Rekindled means implementing the ideas behind “The Flying Flea” of the 1930’s. Obviously, for everyone on the road – and that means all 28 million of us in the United Kingdom, it’s a pain to be stuck in traffic.  Concreting or tarmac-ing the whole country is an impractical method of allowing people to drive round like loonies, so the nutters have decided that starting at £65k, or the price of a Porsche, those that can afford it will whizz around above our heads in small airairplanes.

Presumably, just like the way that motor cars have dropped in price and become ubiquitous, airplanes will follow so that everyone will have one…

If we ignore the energy source red herring for the power plant, there are two things wrong with the idea.


Check out the designs. The wingspans, the take-off distance needed… Now consider your average supermarket car park with room for 300 cars. Now take away a bit for the runway. Now factor in the wing sizes etc. It’s just not practical.


Check out the skills of your average car driver, especially on a bank holiday weekend when nearly all 28 million cars are on the road at once…

Now imagine all those cars flying around at once above your head…

Now check out the two videos below:

We’ll all have to live in reinforced bunkers to hide from the cascades of shrapnel and body parts plummeting from the sky.

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