I’ll Buy HBOS if the TSB can’t Manage it!

Fears for Lloyds takeover of HBOS

Shares in HBOS fall more than 30% below offer price

Apparently, because of all the current shenanigans, the LloydsTSB offer for HBOS is going to fall through because

..it is the discount between 188p and 127.5p that is causing confusion in the City as the HBOS share price would be expected to trade close to the offer price in normal circumstances.

The takeover valued HBOS at £12.2bn when it was first launched, but that has since fallen to less than £10bn

..pipes the Guardian.   It’s the definition of “normal” that gets me.

In the normal circumstances that existed previously (last year), anyone with no money, say me for instance, 😀 would borrow money from a “bank” as they were called last year, and buy what they wanted, say the HBOS.  This is called “leveraging”.

A similar thing happened when the UK government merged and flogged off the Defence Research Establishment. The gaffer, John Chisholm turned ~£129k into ~£29m while the creative work of thousands was frittered away.

So in the spirit of returning to normality, I’m going to pop down to my bank, leverage my assets and buy the HBOS. 😈

Then, because I’ll have made so much paper profit, I’ll give myself a bonus for being clever; £30million or thereabouts should do.

I’m absolutely sure that this time next year the financial markets will be stabilised and I’ll be able to sell HBOS for £30billion and thus pay back my bank the fiver I borrowed.

If I’m wrong (but I won’t be as it’s a dead-cert), I’ll get the government to bail me out, making absolutely sure that I still get my £30million bonus, because obviously, I’m a talented man and I have to be paid the going rate to attract me and my skills into suitable positions.

By Strangely

Founding member of the gifted & talented band, "The Crawling Chaos" from the North-East of England.