Angst in East Lancs Wasteland
Two things stick in my mind about the gig (we played in the afternoon) apart from it being freezing cold and there being no-one there. The topic in both is toilet related for all fans of lavatorial humour.
- On the bus there were no toilets but there was lots of cans of beer and lager. So increasing bladder pressures led to the empty tins getting filled with piss (I think the bus only did one piss stop on the journey). Doomage had just filled his empty can and Billy Connolly (Gordon) asked if he could have a drink of lager because he was thirsty. Doomage gave him the can of piss, expecting some form of derogatory comment, and Gordon drank it, remarking only, that it tasted warm.
Funnily enough, (in the interests of joined-up thinking), I recall seeing on “Richard and Judy”, a guy talking about the (cringe-worthy) health-giving merits of piss drinking. I think the disaster prone alleged-sausage-nicker referred to it as “Urine Therapy” and the guy came from,… where else,… but Manchester. Someone else has remarked on this; see a posting here. (BTW, I’ve only ever seen about 3 R & J episodes, and this was one of them, all by accident I’d like to point out before the street cred is shot too much.)
- The second thing is the fact that Crawling Chaos had a song called “Merry Christmas, Prince Charles” which Jeff and me wrote in my bedroom in 10 minutes and embellished over time. The song started with a long monologue from me backed by mournful keyboard and guitar sounds and a few cymbal splashes. The gist of the “speech” was about a fictionalised personal meeting between Strangely Perfect and Prince Charles which I always made up on the spur of the moment.
In the case of the Leigh Festival, there were some toilets which I’d visited just before we went on because of all the beer and nerves, (they were to the right when viewed from the stage), and I fitted them into the monologue…An hour or so later, when we’d finished playing, this beautiful girl came up to me and started talking about the Prince Charles song (naturally, I really thought I was in there as I thought she was chatting me up…).
She said, “You know you mentioned the toilets where you talked to Prince Charles?”
“Yes?”, I feverishly replied….
“Well can you tell me where they are – ‘cos I’m bursting?”, she deflatingly retorted with her question.
And that was the end of what could have been a wonderful romance!
Apart from that, we didn’t stay to see Joyce D’vision (or if we did I can’t remember) but I recall seeing OMD and their spinny tape deck (we had one similarly but kept it out of sight as we had more than enough stuff to fill the stage)