Last updated on December 1st, 2010
Question. When Is Database not a Database?
Answer. When it’s a Government Lie
And now, here is the news…
The home secretary, Wacky Backy Jacqui, has decided to scrap her naff plans for a (big) database but wants details of ALL internet activity to be held and organised for security services.
The ‘new’ system would track all e-mails, phone calls and internet use, including visits to social network sites.
This is apparently being called:
….a modernisation of UK police surveillance tactics!!!
Database Usage Explained
Fortunately, I’m not that thick to be taken in by this crap. All the tens of thousands of database administrators and designers across the land must be at once giggling at the ineptitude of the statement but fearful of it’s monstrosity. Most will routinely (like me) join and merge data from a plethora of different systems. It’s not hard.
So Jacqui Smith; her with a loose grasp of personal rights and wrongs regarding the public purse, and a demonstrably poor regard for our historical freedoms, is saying that all this data will be kept… where?
- In a loose-leaf file?
- In a scrapbook?
- In some spreadsheets?
- In a powerpoint display?
- In a few Microsoft Word documents?
- In PC Plod’s back pocket?
- In one or more separate modern inter-communicating databases?
Leave your answers in the comments box.
As for political responses;
- the Tories just want to score brownie points saying lots of ‘small’ databases is good but one ‘big’ one is bad. (big and small are relative here – the data storage requirements are colossal, rivalling Google)
- the Liberals are typically wishy-washy, talking about ‘balance’.
Fuck the lot of them – I’m off for a lobotomy.