Hi internet folks out there in YouTube land!
Many of you will have heard of me. As you know, by running a nice steady stream of dodgy internet websites I’ve amassed a lot of money which I have to give away as I’m now a filanthropist pfhilanthwopist philandpissed fillypist fullypissed philantropist.
And while I’m doing it, I’d charitably like to tell you about the most amazing things I’ve found on the internet (or web as it may be known to you newbies). These things are absolutely amazing and you really need one now!
Of course, in between charitable giving I like to talk about gadgets and girls, my two favourite topics apart from me and my charitable works – so first off:
The Gadgets you really must have!
(I’ll get around to Britney Spears later, f-nar, f-nar)
First off, check out the new Ferrari Broom? This FANTASTIC piece of kit is the dream piece for at least three of my mates and is a complete bargain at any price! It’s a clean sweep at any set of traffic lights!
Also comes in red!! Amazing!!!
Don’t get left behind in the high-tech stakes!
The latest cards from nVidia are a must have for anyone wanting to stick at the top of the tech game.! And the new Broom GTX has more b-b–r-r-r-ooom than anything else on the market, you can trust me on that one!
The latest mobile phones from Broomsung are just the thing to have at a celebratory party following a charitable jog….
..err that’s enough broom for now (Ed)
…(article discontinued due to boring gibberish)..
[By the way, I'm not the Jesse Willms that's famous for ripping people off. No way! No sirree! I'm the other Jesse Willms.]
..that’s enough, I’m vomiting profusely (Ed)