Hi. Jesse Willms the noted philanthropist here.
You know, when I get home from work, driving in my little red car through all the poor people on the free-way, I like to think of the difference I’ve made to the little people’s lives.
Since reading about all those rich people, I thought to myself, “why not give back all the money I got from the little people, and give it back, but to a better sort of little person?”. A bit like those ones in Honduras that I’ve been preparing to meet. Oooh! It’ll be lovely.
So that’s what I’ve done! Everyone in the whole world can now benefit from me, and I think that’s really lovely and nice, don’t you? And sooo tax deductible! Not that I need to, fnar, fnar!
One person who has benefited already is my friend Dr Oz. I keep him informed about all the nice websites I’m now making to replace those other one’s that I like to forget about a lot. That’s him on the left talking to CTV about how I made websites with his face on them saying that he liked all my stuff but without asking him (huh. big mistake – dah!). You know, things like Resveratol and that Acai tummy stuff.
Well I’m all grown up now and a much respected person at the Better Business Bureau who I also get on famously with. I don’t do any of those disappearing phone numbers like those on the right in that CTV programme. No sirree! And those bottles of champagne? Well I give them all to charity when I do runs and if someone needs a prize for a raffle. Or something.
One thing that I must apologise for is that awful shot of me when I ran away from the nice people at CTV. Somehow, they thought that all that teeth whitening stuff was me! Can you believe it?
The thing was, it was a bit chilly that day and I had a lot of very important charity things to do so couldn’t speak. It was such a shame!
I asked them to meet me at the office, but well, you know, I was just too busy arranging some nice things to say about myself, and anyway, that Symantech piracy problem I had is all water under the bridge, now that I’m a philanthropist, isn’t it?
And the Microsoft one too. yes. We don’t talk about it, my mom and me.
My recent new friends have even written to me to thank me for my goodness. Fortunately, they’ve left their email addresses so everyone else can thank them for getting all the money I took from the 1000s of little people. After all, it’s not like it was stolen drugs money? That’d be really bad if they accepted donations like that, wouldn’t it? Here are 3 of them from my own nice website, http://jessewillms.com/jesse-willms-receives-thank-you-letters-for-his-donations/
- Myra J Biblowit at the Breast Cancer Foundation
- Larry Schweiger from the National Wildlife Federation
Really. All me and my mom would like is for those nice people at the W5 division of CTV to put those videos about me onto YouTube so that everyone can see how good and nice I really am. I mean, I try, I really do try, to make everyone understand that I’m a good guy and I give money to charity and stuff.
I mean, I’m a proper philanthropist now, aren’t I? I’m not a flim-flam guy! I’m not. I’m not. I’m not! Why don’t people believe me?
My Good Links
- https://www.itbusinessnet.com/articles/viewarticle.jsp?id=1234840 – Edmonton Philanthropist Jesse Willms to Donate Hundreds of Toys to Needy Children for Christmas (I like this one a lot!)
My Not So Good Links
- https://www.webcops.net/just_think_media_spam_scams_8001.html – I don’t like this one; they just laughed at me when I tried to sue them for saying naughty bad things about me.